Table of Contents
Shades of the Caribbean -
The Adventures of Pirate Maria Amante
A (somewhat submissive-masochistic) narrative in pirate milieu
[Blog first page]
Table of Contents
How Marie joined Captain Lessnya
From Captain Lessnya to Captain Rin
von Käptn YYY zurück zu Käptn XXX
Wie Marie Erster Maat wurde
[Blog zweite Seite]
Wiedersehen mit Käptn YYY
[Blog dritte Seite]
Jetzt schlägts 13
Im Zerbrochenen Krug
Im Rostigen Schlüssel
Im Rosa Frosch
[Blog vierte Seite]
Im Schwarzen Einhorn
Im Crazy Seahorse
Im Kloster San Zosimos
Der Schatz, Teil 1 – Die Schatzkarte
Der Schatz, Teil 2 – Das Gefecht
[Blog fünfte Seite]
Der Schatz, Teil 3 – Der Papagei
Ist Liebe wirklich nur ein Wort?
Master BBB und mmm
[Blog sechste Seite]
Neuanfang bei Sir ZZZ
Schuld und Sühne
Als F*ckstück unterwegs
[Blog siebte Seite]
Es war einmal oder wird sein – I
Wie es weitergeht (Spoiler!)
Die Beiträge werden in dieser oben genannten Reihenfolge dargeboten, entgegen der üblichen Gepflogenheit eines Blogs, die neuesten Beiträge als vorderste zu haben: in diesem Blog sind sie in korrekter erzählerischer Reihenfolge angeordnet.
Die Kapitel ab "Jetzt schlägts 13" bis einschließlich " Ist Liebe wirklich nur ein Wort?" haben einen durchgehenden Handlungsstrang. Des Weiteren bilden die beiden Erzählungen "von Käptn XXX zu Käptn YYY" und "von Käptn YYY zurück zu Käptn XXX" eine zusammenhängende Einheit, ebenso wie "Das Ende?" den Beginn einer neuen Erzählungskette darstellt, die bis zum Ende der derzeit bestehenden Kapitel läuft; alle anderen Kapitel sind Einzelerzählungen; allerdings sind wie gesagt alle inhaltlich chronologisch gereiht.
Meine Erzählung ist mittlerweile als Buch erschienen. Hier mache ich nun den Versuch, eine englischsprachige Ausgabe zu erstellen.
How Marie joined Captain Lessnya
How Marie joined Captain Lessnya
It is a characteristic of mine that I mention often that I was not always Captain Lessnya's First Mate, but once was her prey, and only as time passed, I became from prey to First Mate.
I like to tell particularly when it is about to convince soldiers, sailors or other pirates to join us. I want to make it clear to them that they must not always remain as slaves or prisoners with us, if only they prove to Captain Lessnya the adequate loyalty.
Here now I would like to tell about how it happened that I became Captain Lessnya's prey. I'm telling this story very rarely, because as beautiful or insightful it may be, it still hurts Captain Lessnya.
It was several years ago in Cartagena, in an officer's pub. Well, it was not only officers there, often rather ordinary soldiers and sailors, as well as merchants and citizens. Everyone wanted to spend a lovely evening and an even better night with one of the girls who also were there, and of course they successfully did.
I was one of these girls.
I had come from the countryside to the city, had left my parents and siblings. The choice to go into town, I had made because I had heard that it was very easy in the city, especially for women, to get lots of money and rich gifts. However, it had been described to me less exactly what a woman must do for that.
Well, the soldiers and sailors taught me quickly. Among the first things I learned was that I can choose whether it will only hurt my pride, or really hurt me: will I give myself voluntarily, or will the soldiers or sailors have to take me by force. Either way, the result was the same. And I had discarded my pride very soon.
I quickly discovered that actually I frequently got gifts, especially by merchants or officers, to whom I always bestowed happy hours, or sometimes a particularly beautiful night.
Maybe I had something special about me, but I rather think that I was just lucky. But I always was among the most desired girls.
So I struggled through and had made friend with some other girls. But there were several girls that hated us - my friends and me. Envy was big.
There was a priest who always wanted to take us on the "right path", and there were also a number of honorable women (wives), who would have preferred us having scratched the face, and expelled from the city.
I finally had settled as "permanent institution" at the Crazy Seahorse inn, where things were pretty wild. It was the best inn in the city, here were more officers and merchants mixing than in any other inn, and to be allowed to work here was the best thing one of us ever could reach.
Although we had a stage for performances, it was never used. Mostly we danced among the guests at their tables - often on top of the tables - and sometimes on the lap of the guests, and for that we often were invited and gifted.
Once I even had the honor to bless the Governor himself: a fat man, who nearly crushed me with his weight, when he was lying on me. But I managed to suppress my disgust for him and his exhalations and juices, and the next morning I got from him a silver necklace.
The host of the Crazy Seahorse was very nice to his girls, this fact had very surprised me, because it was not so in the other pubs in the city. There we often were beaten if we did not want to serve the guests immediately or if we did not want to dance completely naked, but that's another story. The host of the Crazy Seahorse did not have lust for women; at least he let us alone, in contrast to all the other hosts at all the other pubs where I've ever worked. There also was a young man of whom I never found out what exactly he should work at the Crazy Seahorse, but he almost always was near the host. I had my suspicions in this regard, but it did not concern me. Anyway, I had my permanent place in the Crazy Seahorse; and I did not want to give it up for anything in the world.
So it was, when the city was attacked by pirates. A pirate attack on such a big city I had never experienced before. In fact, I had absolutely never experienced a pirate attack. I had been told, the pirates would rather invade smaller cities that are not so well guarded, and here were a considerable number of soldiers. But just this evening the town was practically empty of soldiers, because the Governor was with a large part of his men on a mission abroad, of which no one had quite understood what he really intended.
The attack was a complete surprising. The door opened, a couple of wild-looking men entered, at the first moment I did not think much of them. But when the first pulled out a saber and struck down three soldiers before they might think of resistance, the other girls and I stopped dancing and most of us froze. The music was stopped and there was silence. There was little noise of battle, because there was little resistance, there were indeed no handful of soldiers present. The pirates killed or wounded all who resisted. Those who did not resist were robbed. As several merchants were present, the pirates may have made up some of loot.
Finally, a woman came in, who at first glance was obviously someone special. She wore a handsome pirate cleft, and all the pirates gave place and immediately stepped aside as she entered the Crazy Seahorse.
She looked briefly around the room. There were six or seven girls who had danced and now were standing by the tables of the guests, and her gaze remained just at me. I've never been previously considered by someone so pervasive, and my heart almost stopped. Still unable to move, I watched as unconcerned as the woman approached me. She stayed close in front of me, stared for a few seconds in my face, and then she slowly moved her hand to my neck. I expected that she would now tear off my silver necklace, but she just grabbed my chin and closed my mouth, which I had not noticed that I had it open all the time. She smiled briefly, and then she grabbed me by my wrist, said to their people, "We leave" and pulled me out of the tavern. I followed without any resistance. She was silent and walked with rapid steps with me towards the harbor. The Pirates went ahead, followed by the woman with me at her hand.
A few doors further, suddenly a man shouted from behind: "Captain Lessnya! With all due respect, you have not much gold brought back as loot." She stopped and stared at me. I had the impression that she was only now aware of whom she carried with her. She just said "Yeah, uh. That may be. I do not know, but somehow yet".
The man who had spoken to her, proved to be a better dressed pirate who was pretty fully loaded with several golden drinking cups, a stack of papers that looked like documents and maps, and out of his pockets were hanging half out some golden necklaces and bracelets.
"I'll explain it later, at the Pearl, Mate", Captain Lessnya said.
At the same moment the mate got big eyes, coughed, spat blood in my face and on my chest, let fall his prey, and tipped over. Only now I noticed that someone had crept up from behind and pushed him a dagger in the back. I even knew the murderer, it was a notorious pickpocket. I became angry, I thought it was unfair that the mate had not perished in fight, but had been a victim of a dishonorable thief and murderer.
The next moment Captain Lessnya had drawn her weapon and pushed it through the murderer, but that did not make alive again the mate. I went up to him and pulled the dagger out of his back.
I had noticed that Captain Lessnya had drawn no saber but a sword. The blade had not been crooked but straight and double-edged. But there was not much time to think about it.
"Come over!" Captain Lessnya called to me, put back her sword into the scabbard and started to run towards the harbor. I gathered up a few of the papers, which the mate had carried, and which now were laying scattered on the ground. When I even tried to pick up some golden cups, Captain Lessnya called over her shoulder to me:
"They're not important; it's you who needs to follow!" I let everything else lying and ran after her.
Only in the harbor I caught up with her again. She climbed into a boat which was full of pirates and booty and stretched out her hand to me. Without thinking much that I now followed pirates, I grabbed her hand and also climbed into the boat.
"Our First Mate is dead," Captain Lessnya said, "who else is missing?" Only now I could see that tears were running down her cheeks.
Two more names were called and Captain Lessnya slowly nodded.
"We have been lucky, rich booty, Captain," someone said. Captain Lessnya wiped with a quick flick the tears off her face and looked at me smiling. Long. Very long. Then she said "Yes, we actually have. Very rich booty. Maybe not necessarily expensive and valuable, but it is still worth a lot. I am convinced about this."
She briefly dipped her hand into the water and washed the First Mate's blood spatter from my face.
"What is your name?" then she asked. -
"Maria. Maria Amante", I replied, "but everyone calls me Marie". -
"Marie" repeated Captain Lessnya, "yes that is right for you".
I knew nothing to answer and just stared at her fascinating eyes. She smiled again.
Then she grabbed to my face and closed again my open mouth.
The end of this story is told quickly.
We unmolested arrived the pirate ship, and were able without difficulty to escape to the open sea.
The ship's name was Pearl. It quickly became my new home, as well as the unnamed island that Captain Lessnya used as a hiding place. But at the beginning we were more often with the Pearl at sea than we were staying on the island, at this time the dwelling still was under construction.
I became Captain Lessnya's personal slave and was under her protection ahead of the crew.
The name of the First Mate, which had fallen victim to the murderer, I do not know. I never asked Captain Lessnya about. I know how much this matter touches her and I never speak about it. Also to anyone else I've never talked about the death of this man or his importance to Captain Lessnya. When I think of him, I only can see his surprised eyes in front of me, which he had before he collapsed dying.
The dagger I have held in the hand up to Captain Lessnya's cabin, without realizing it. Only then I dropped it.
I'm always wearing it with me, on my left thigh. It is the only weapon that I wear, but it has served me well. Maybe I can repair with this dagger over time, what had happened by it. But I know this will take some time.
How I became Captain Lessnya's First Mate later, that's a different story.
It was a long way up there, and once we have even gone apart, but fortunately have found each other again.
Likewise, there is a story about how I got the branding "Pirate" on my back. I would like to say briefly that I had been taken prisoner and stood with the branding on the back three days at the pillory. If an old woman had not always secretly brought water to me, I would have died of thirst. The Governor then decided that I should be hanged, and it should take particularly long, the executioner should make sure that my neck was not broken when hanging. My head on a peg at the port then should serve as a deterrent to other pirates, but especially to Captain Lessnya.
Well, so far it did not come; Captain Lessnya has saved me from the gallows.
But, as I said, that's another story.
We still have many evenings for it.
How Marie joined Captain Lessnya
(Wie Marie zu Käpt'n Lessnya gekommen ist)
(Translated into English 2016-09-07)
From Captain Lessnya to Captain Rin
Today I want to tell you a story of my life, which is not even honorable for me. It is the story of how I learned what true loyalty is and what it means to those to whom you are loyal or disloyal.
It is the story of as I left Captain Lessnya to join Captain Rin. Even now, more than two years later, I still get tears in my eyes when I'm thinking of Captain Lessnya's face when I asked her to release me from her services. Even my end at Captain Rin still makes me sad, though I'm now seeing Captain Rin not only through rose-colored glasses.
I'm not able to tell the whole story at once, here is the beginning, as I met Captain Rin and left Captain Lessnya.
When I was only a few months a slave of Captain Lessnya, she took me one evening into a pub witch had the beautiful name Drunken Mermaid.
Captain Lessnya stepped briskly through the door into the pub, while everything cramped inside me when I tried to follow her. There was sitting a number of pirates and sailors at the tables, men and women mixed, one looking more bloodthirsty than the other.
Captain Lessnya unreservedly marched to a table where two female pirates and one male pirate were sitting, and was loudly welcomed by them. Unsolicited she took a seat and when I kept standing behind her uncertain, a pirate asked me to sit down.
To sit down! I, as a slave, should sit at a table with my Mistress and other pirates! In my opinion, I belonged to the feet of my Mistress but not next to her and to the band of pirates. I had far too much respect for the present visitors, and so I sat down on a chair, while at the table, but as far away from everyone as possible. Captain Lessnya briefly looked up and then said to me that I should kindly sit down beside her, finally I was her slave and not someone foreign.
She told the pirates at the table briefly, that I belonged to her, and she used words that indicated that she was proud of me and that she would sell me in no way. Besides, all could see clearly my leather collar with the iron ring that I wore, since I had come to Captain Lessnya. And this collar meant a lot to me. Captain Lessnya had let me choose it by myself and it showed that I served her and at the same time was under her protection.
A female pirate at this table very often looked at me and was particularly friendly, and she proved to be good friends, if not a close friend, to Captain Lessnya. I was told that this pirate was the owner of the Drunken Mermaid.
She stepped behind the counter and came back to the table with a dress she handed to me. I asked Captain Lessnya if I were allowed accept this dress, and she said yes.
The dress was much better and prettier than the somewhat tattered that I was now wearing, and, to the delight of all present, Captain Lessnya ordered me to take off my clothes right here in the room and to put on the new dress.
The pirate and pubs owner, who had given the dress to me, was introduced as Captain Rin, the other female pirate and the male pirate at our table as Captain Kim and Mate Ben. With both Captain Rin had a relationship, as I learned and could see by myself during the evening.
The rest of the evening passed with the fact that I danced for Captain Lessnya and her friends – often they also danced – and that tons of pitchers were emptied until all were almost drunk at the end. Only Captain Lessnya and Captain Rin still seemed to be reasonably sober: they could walk, while the others had fallen asleep with the head on the table or some lying under the table. For goodbye, Captain Rin kissed Captain Lessnya, and then to my great surprise even me. "A faithful slave is almost worth gold," she said, and then she retired to her room, while Captain Lessnya went back to her ship with my supportive accompaniment. The other pirates in the room Captain Rin simply left as they were; she only pushed each Captain Kim and Ben Maat a pillow under their head and covered them with a blanket.
"Rin will be my doom," Captain Lessnya said when we arrived at the Pearl and I brought her into her cabin.
In the next time Captain Lessnya several times visited the Drunken Mermaid together with me. I learned Captain Rin know better and liked her very much, she had a fascinating personality. She told a lot about herself and of her deeds and achievements, which impressed me very much.
One day, Captain Lessnya said that she needed to go away a few days for a secret mission, and in that time Captain Rin would take command. While still some details were discussed, Captain Rin whispered to me secretly "I love you". I blushed and said nothing. When it came to goodbye, she whispered to me again "Believe it or don't believe it, I love you."
The next few days while Captain Lessnya was absent, were very nice for me. Captain Rin applied herself exclusively to Captain Lessnya's ship, including the crew, and it seemed to me she almost would even neglect her own. She had during these days no contact to Captain Kim or Mate Ben, as far as I could tell. She employed the crew in the same function that they had had at Captain Lessnya. So I was at this time her personal slave, just as I was apart from that to Captain Lessnya. I started to appreciate Captain Rin very much. But she always kept her distance and always pointed out that she only was Captain Lessnya's representation, but no more than that. That she had whispered to me that she loved me, she seemed to have forgotten. But I had too much respect for Captain Rin to ask about this or even just to mention it.
She led many conversations with me, told me about her; in the meantime I liked Captain Rin very much and had great confidence to her. Finally she told me, quite surprising for me, that I should not be a slave, but a free woman. I felt queasy at these words, I had got used to Captain Lessnya and did not want to be free, but I could not make understanding this to Captain Rin, and she even insisted that I was unsuitable as Captain Lessnya's slave.
Captain Rin had had, as she told me, a number of male and female slaves, now she had none because she did not want any more, but she knew very well to assess male and female slaves. That meant to me that therefore she was able to tell what I was and what I was not.
In further conversations Captain Rin convinced me that I was not only unsuitable as a slave of Captain Lessnya, but unsuitable as a slave in general. I am a free woman, maybe I'm hurt inside and just thinking I would be a slave, but I should do what I wanted. She will be happy to help me to find my way, but my way is not that of a slave, I was not born a slave.
Slowly I realized that obviously I only had conceited my loyalty to Captain Lessnya, and that I had therefore all the time only played to be her faithful slave.
My world had collapsed.
In fact I was not at all like I always had believed I would be, I was a liar, I just had played without noticing it, I only had myself persuaded to be happy as Captain Lessnya's slave, even totally as a slave. I had all the time lied to Captain Lessnya without being aware of it.
The day of Captain Lessnya's return arrived. Captain Rin handed ship and crew back to Captain Lessnya. She smiled at me once more before she left the Pearl.
The same evening I pled Captain Lessnya for a talk. Even though I was her slave, so Captain Lessnya always had had an open ear for my problems, and so this time she also retreated with me into her cabin, where we could talk undisturbed.
I immediately asked Captain Lessnya to let me go. She almost broke down and had to sit. I tried to explain my reasons: I am not so, as we always had believed. I only had feigned her to be her faithful slave, and I did not want to go on with this. I did not want to lie to Captain Lessnya any more, that would not be right. Although I still could stay with her, but I only would play the loyalty to her, in fact I always had just played the loyalty, but now I had become aware of that, and I could not and I did not want to stay with this lie at Captain Lessnya. It sounded quite confused what I said; Captain Lessnya probably did not understand me. But she wanted me to be happy and dismissed me without any questions or limitations.
She took off my collar from me and suddenly I felt completely naked. Even when I had been naked before often, I had always worn my collar, and I had never felt naked like now, without collar, though I wore clothes; it was absolutely unaccustomed wearing no collar. It was even terrible not to be allowed to wear any more.
"Go to Rin," Captain Lessnya said in a broken voice to me. As well that was the only thing I could imagine now to do. I let Captain Lessnya alone.
When I left the Pearl the first tears began to run down. I missed Captain Lessnya as soon as I had turned my back on her. Only now I realized what she had meant to me. But it was too late to return.
The next days and weeks I spent with casual work in the port city, such as washing dishes, cleaning, or dirty work. Again and again I grabbed my bare neck. Often I was asked why I was crying almost constantly. I never gave an answer.
From time to time I met Captain Lessnya, but we always exchanged only a few insignificant words, if we said anything at all, there was nothing more between us, what we could tell.
As often as possible I went to see Captain Rin; and we had hours of long conversations. She promised me again, wanting to accompany me on my new way and to help me to find myself, as best as she could, but I just simply was no slave; slave born have the natural need to subordinate themselves. This confused me even more, because with these words she had exactly described my feelings and desires, but when she decided that I was incapable, she was probably right with her assessment, because she had said that she knew all about slaves.
She also told me that she did not go well; she was seriously ill and had only concealed this fact from all; only Captain Kim and Mate Ben knew about it, even towards Captain Lessnya she only had given some hints, but explained nothing more. This confession of weakness deepened my affection for Captain Rin further more.
Once when I was at Captain Rin, Captain Kim also was present, and Captain Lessnya came over as well. She complained that she obviously was not a good captain, because she had lost me. After me, she had been left by several of her crew. It seemed to me as if my leaving had somehow released a wave of abandoning, to which Captain Lessnya now faced helpless, and I felt guilty about this.
While Captain Kim unabashedly alternating said sweet words to Captain Rin and was cursing incoherently, and in this way demonstratively ignored that Captain Lessnya had turned for help to Captain Rin and so really had enjoyed to talk with her alone, Captain Rin tried along with my support, to explain Captain Lessnya that my desertion nothing had to do with a lack of suitability as captain. But Captain Lessnya apparently did not understand Captain Rin, yet my arguments and explanations; she said she wanted to give up the Pearl and join Captain Rin to learn from her. She knelt down, put her head on the floor, took Captain Rin's foot and placed it on her head. Captain Kim laughed uproariously, while the surprised Captain Rin took away her leg immediately. Only later I realized how embarrassing this action to Captain Rin had been. It nearly took her an hour to dissuade Captain Lessnya from this.
I did not understand why Captain Lessnya, who had always been a good Mistress to me and an excellent Captain, could have such self-doubt; I insisted again and again that all really was my fault. Finally Captain Lessnya and I almost quarreled about the matter of who of us is the less valuable, until Captain Rin gave each of us a slap. I apologized and said nothing more, while Captain Rin further insisted on Captain Lessnya.
But this slap gave me a deep sense of satisfaction. At this time my heart already had devoted to Captain Rin, and this slap proved to me that I meant something to her. Concurrently this slap also connected me with Captain Lessnya, since we had both received it at the same time and by the same person. Unfortunately, this could not conceal that Captain Lessnya stuck in a crisis that I had caused.
When we finally said goodbye, Captain Rin promised to me to help Captain Lessnya as much as possible. But my bad conscience for what I had done to Captain Lessnya remained.
Nevertheless, I was still happy when there was an opportunity to talk with Captain Rin and especially to be together with her; she was unique. She was a Queen. Her words were to me like water to a man dying of thirst. And according to all this, what she had done for me and even more had promised to do, I now wanted to help her; not only because of her illness, but in general, even in principle. I wanted to support her as much as possible; I wanted to be there for her.
So I asked Captain Rin how I could help her best, and she replied:
"You know me, and you will know what to do."
I froze. My knees went weak and I felt in my chest a strange feeling. My hands were powerless. If I had something held in my hands, I would have had to put it down so not to drop it. I could barely move. I lowered my eyes and said:
"As long as I exist, I will serve you, Captain Rin."
She was silent for a while, then she asked "Hard for you?" and I shook my head and replied, "No. Wonderful."
from Captain Lessnya to Captain Rin
(Von Käpt'n Lessnya zu Käpt'n Rin)
(Translated into English 2016-09-07)
From Captain Rin back to Captain Lessnya
The next weeks and months I was constant companion of Captain Rin, just as I had it been to Captain Lessnya before.
In the Drunken Mermaid I served the guests, made for them the jobs that Captain Rin had done herself before, or I danced. Never on stage, which existed in the Drunken Mermaid, but was not used here the same way just as it had been not used in the Crazy Seahorse; instead I was dancing at the tables, on the dance floor with the guests, or even on a table, depending what was desired.
A few times still there was a meeting between Captain Rin and Captain Lessnya, but Captain Rin knew very well to conceal from Captain Lessnya, that I was now her slave. Often she sent me away with orders, and after completing I heard at my return by others, that Captain Lessnya was "just gone".
But as a matter of fact I did not care about that. Captain Rin had long conversations with me, we were talking about God and the world, about her disease, about our future, about her relationships with Captain Kim and Ben Maat, where Captain Rin swore that she loved me as well, she loves each in her own way; and of course we talked about me. In these discussions, we became very close; I only did not like that Captain Rin still insisted that I was not a real slave, but she could not or wanted not to explain who or what else I was then.
But even that was initially indifferent to me. I enjoyed every word of Captain Rin, she was, as said before, a fascinating personality, she could tell wonderful stories about her life; I really was addicted to Captain Rin.
We often met Captain Kim and Mate Ben, and I made friends with the both. Mate Ben was affable though not very talkative, but Captain Kim made a very hard and unapproachable impression; she indicated to me clearly that she had more rights to Captain Rin than me, and she was only a trace more friendlily when I swore to her that I, as Captain Rin's slave, never had any claims on Captain Rin. I never had the feeling that Captain Kim would accept me entirely. That is why every minute, every second, I had Captain Rin for me alone, was infinitely priceless for me.
One day when I was alone in the Drunken Mermaid, Captain Lessnya passed in the company of a battered young girl, who had, as far as I could see, multiple scars in the face and on the arms. Captain Lessnya introduced her as Lara. She was a new crew member, and Captain Lessnya asked me to help Lara with some problems where Captain Lessnya could do nothing or even very little. After Captain Rin's reports about Captain Lessnya I was skeptical, but Lara should not suffer because of this, and I chatted with her. Incidentally, it was the only time that Captain Lessnya had come accompanied by somebody else, though I noticed that only later. But this way I got to know Lara.
The next weeks Lara several times came to the Drunken Mermaid to see me, and these visits quickly became more often. Clearly, Lara also met Captain Rin and was very impressed by her, which was not surprising to me.
I could see from Captain Rin's stories how the friendship between her and Captain Lessnya broke piece by piece. I felt sorry about Captain Lessnya, but meanwhile Captain Rin had become much more important to me.
I asked Captain Rin about a collar; she promised to get one for me with her name on it and told me to wait.
And several times she was a great lover. It was invaluable to me as her slave, that it was me, whom she had chosen as bed-playmate, and I always did my best to satisfy Captain Rin.
Unfortunately then the period started when Captain Rin went out to sea and left me alone in the Drunken Mermaid. Firstly, there were only short trips, I always was happy when she came home again, but soon the rides became longer. Finally, it lasted several days, often more than a week. Captain Rin returned for a day and again went out to the sea the next day, staying away a week or longer. I waited day by day for her unpredictable return, I daily looked out for hours after her ship, and I hoped that she would come back again at least someday.
When someone called "ship in sight," I suspended every work in the Drunken Mermaid and ran out to see if it was the Estafadora, Captain Rin's ship.
Because it seemed to take more time than usual that Captain Rin would have a collar for me, I bought a necklace of Bloodstone, which I always wore instead.
Regardless, the few days Captain Rin spent with me this way were incomparable. I remember a conversation we once led: She said she'll braise well in hell after her death. I responded that I would follow her everywhere, even into hell, if her way lead there; we were going to meet there, and I will lead her out from hell. And I was convinced that if I would enter hell voluntarily only because of love, I could leave it again and additionally take somebody with me. I was willing to do anything, to do really everything for her.
One evening there was a dispute between Captain Rin and a soldier which loomed to escalate. When the soldier reached for his sword and Captain Rin for hers, I was between the both, faster than I could comprehend it by myself. It probably was not necessary; Captain Rin could defend herself very well. Also it was totally unconcerned to me, what the soldier could do to me, it only was important for me that nothing should happen to Captain Rin. When the soldier had departed, Captain Rin said to me "You would give your life for me. Huh?" I only could nod; tears ran down my face. Captain Rin hugged me and said softly: "Good Marie".
However, nothing changed on the long absences of Captain Rin. I also never knew what she was doing on these trips. Maybe she met with Captain Kim and Mate Ben, if they also were on their own ship, the Unfavorable. It did not concern me. My job was to wait in the Drunken Mermaid for the return of Captain Rin and to satisfy the guests. Often there were complaints that I had run out to see whether an incoming ship was the Estafadora.
In the meantime Lara had become a good friend to me and was several times in a week to be found in the Drunken Mermaid. She kept me company and often we waited together for the arrival of the Estafadora. Meanwhile Lara liked Captain Rin very much. But there also were guests that told me scare stories about Captain Rin; probably they were amused about my devotion to her. One day a female guest named Mouse told me, that Captain Rin once had been her slave. I was aware that Captain Rin had had an affair with Mouse, which had been just at the time when I had submitted to Captain Rin, but the affair was short-lived. Captain Rin also had told me that she had an adventurous life, this also could include that she really once had been a slave, and it affected me that Captain Rin, which meant so much to me, should have been a slave of this boastful Mouse. When I inquired Captain Rin about this narration, Captain Rin punished me because I had believed this story: I had to fulfill my daily duties, but was for one day not allowed to speak to Captain Rin or contact her in any other way, even not to leave a message for her. I must not follow her when she went somewhere; I not even was allowed to come near her. Just this one day when she was on land! It was the hardest punishment I could ever get. And the next day when I was allowed to talk to her again, she was back to the sea.
But mostly Captain Rin was kind and understanding and still we had long conversations at the rare evenings when she was present, at the time when we were alone. She told me about her illness, and that it was particularly bad when she was at sea, but she refused my offer that I could accompany her to the sea and nurse her.
She told me about her broken friendship with Captain Lessnya and that Captain Lessnya had betrayed her, only with luck she had escaped a capture.
This break of loyalty and friendship Captain Lessnya had committed, hurt me in the heart. I was glad that Captain Rin had escaped and dared not to imagine anything what could have happened, if she would not have succeeded.
And she told me a lot about her career as a pirate, about her injuries she had suffered in earlier battles, about her other friends, about her former slaves or her love for me.
But very often also Captain Kim and Mate Ben were present, and then any familiarity between Captain Rin and me disappeared. But as much as I tried to get along with Captain Kim - I respected Captain Kim, who was described by Captain Rin as her wife, as well as Captain Rin herself - it was in vain. Captain Kim often treated me as if I was air, and that, although she of course always enjoyed the main attention of Captain Rin.
Captain Kim and Mate Ben never visited me in the Drunken Mermaid when I was alone. They only came there when Captain Rin was present, or Captain Rin visited the somewhat run-down, very headstrong furnished tavern of Captain Kim, that had the name Voodoo, and I was allowed to come there too, when all the guests in the Drunken Mermaid were gone.
Conversely, I never visited Captain Kim or Mate Ben, when I was alone and they were not gone with the Unfavorable. Although I always accompanied Captain Rin for both, when she visited them, as I accompanied Captain Rin everywhere when she was on land, but I was constantly only an appendix, an entourage for Captain Rin. For more, I had no right, and I also had too much respect towards them, to meet them without the presence of Captain Rin.
Captain Rin called Captain Kim "Sweetheart", Mate Ben "Darling" and me usually "Marie", rarely "sweetie". It was not me to judge or complain about. Who was Captain Rin and who I was? She was my sun, without it, the day was gray and dreary; her words were law for me. Whatever Captain Rin said it was for me wholly owned validity and truth. And I was her loyal slave. Even though I still had no collar of Captain Rin, it was obvious to everyone that I was.
I often cried at the days when Captain Rin was absent, because I knew that she was ill, and I could do nothing, even was not allowed to do anything. She declined still allowing me to accompany her on her journeys and nurse her. When unexpectedly she was back after several days, when I asked how she was, and she most replied "not so special", my heart hurt and I tried to treat her special attention; indeed she enjoyed this very much, but she never changed her mind to assume more from me than just my mere presence, during this comparatively short period, when she was on land with me.
One evening, when Captain Rin already as usually was away some days, the door opened and Captain Lessnya entered. She saw at first glance, that I not only just worked for Captain Rin, but that, even if I was not wearing a collar, Captain Rin was my mistress now. Meanwhile I had learned enough from Captain Rin's stories about the falsity of Captain Lessnya and greeted her with the mocking words "Good evening, my ex-Captain" –
"Don't call me this" Captain Lessnya just said.
We exchanged some words, and then she surprisingly said "Please tell Rin that she still means a lot to me."
I was outraged. Captain Lessnya had betrayed Captain Rin, and now she apparently tried to ingratiate with Captain Rin again over me. This lie was the greatest impudence that I had ever heard from Captain Lessnya. I glared at her, "After all, what Captain Rin told me about you, I can believe you nothing ever more".
Captain Lessnya looked at me a long time, and then she left without another word. I still wonder why she did not simply pull her sword and felled me. However, it would also not have minded me. I was still willing to die for Captain Rin, even if the only purpose to die had existed in telling openly the truth what Captain Lessnya had done to Captain Rin.
I even would have been willing to let my throat cut by Captain Rin, and so to die for her, if she would have liked it, and if she only had hold me in her arms during the time I would have bled to death. Of course, Captain Rin never wanted to do so, but even this I had done for her, if it had been her wish.
When I told Captain Rin after her return about the visit of Captain Lessnya, she just asked me not to appeal Captain Lessnya on this story of the betrayal, if she should come again. "I don't want poking into old wounds and I want to grow grass over the matter," she said.
Somehow time passed. It was leveled to the effect that Captain Rin was only one day a week there, mostly at the weekends, between Friday and Monday, but it was never sure which of these days, as well the hour was a gamble. I cried a lot, almost every day, because I missed Captain Rin and because I could do nothing for her, even though I knew that she felt bad from her illness when she was not here. Lara tried, when she was present, as well as possible to comfort me, but usually without success.
Actually there still were a few meetings between Captain Lessnya and me, but we never exchanged many words, and if so, Captain Lessnya just said, I would not believe her anyway what she said, I even would not believe her what the weather is, as long as Captain Rin would not confirm it. Even if that was a bit exaggerated, somehow she was right.
I now also noticed that Captain Lessnya never was accompanied. She was always alone. These meetings with Captain Lessnya rapidly became rare, and soon they ceased.
There were no significant events any more. Eagerly, almost greedily, I daily waited for the return of the Estafadora and Captain Rin, who sometimes after a few days, but usually after a week or longer, came back and then always told me fantastic stories about the countries, where she had been, the people she had met and the mythical creatures she had seen. And my chest was warm, my heart was delightful when she was with me, I was happy during those hours. But in the long run that all could not hide from me that Captain Rin actually was almost never present. It was a tearful time.
Finally, Lara told me that Captain Lessnya had her crew lost in part or had dismissed them, and that she had retired to a small cottage; her ship was on dry land, she would never go to sea anymore, she lived alone and lonely. Lara had come to the Pearl shortly after I had left Captain Lessnya, she had remained there only briefly, but then she kept in touch with Captain Lessnya, despite her frequent visits to the Drunken Mermaid. Lara wanted now to pay a visit to Captain Lessnya and asked me if I wanted to come with her.
At the thought of a lonely Captain Lessnya without the Pearl and without her crew, I became sad. I felt sorry about her, though she had lied and deceived my beloved Mistress, Captain Rin. But I could not dare to visit Captain Lessnya, just as I was.
I dressed and rouged myself beyond recognition, and then we went to the cottage where Captain Lessnya lived now. As we were standing before Captain Lessnya's door, Lara said she had to do something else and walked away without any explanation. I stood alone in front of Captain Lessnya's door. I knocked, the door was opened, and I was hoping Captain Lessnya would not recognize me. She asked me to come in.
I still do not know why I have done the following, but without thinking much I told Captain Lessnya, my name was Bettina and I had heard she was a good captain, she was going out onto sea, and I wanted to join her. For some inner madness I was convinced I could be as Marie with Captain Rin and in disguise at the same time as Bettina with Captain Lessnya. I cannot explain why my love for Captain Rin did not prevent me from deceiving her. But simultaneously I also wanted Captain Lessnya to be happy again and for this I would do everything.
I tried hard, not to speak like Marie and not to behave so.
But Captain Lessnya told me that she had retired, and that she no longer wanted to put to sea. I tried to persuade her to try it again, she could not give up the sea so easily, and she should think about the good times, she certainly had had. It seemed to me somehow, as I would talk about my life.
After some seesaw Captain Lessnya said, "Well, I've decided, we'll let the Pearl back in the water and I'm going back to sea again."
We went to a pub that had the name Copper Club, to hire the other crew. I was asked by Captain Lessnya to go behind the bar and serve the guests. I learned that this inn was owned by another pirate, her name was Kaleyani; she had been without captain for a long time and also wanted to go to sea again. The same evening she hired as Captain Lessnya's coxswain.
(Several months later Captain Lessnya told me that she had met Kaleyani some days before, and had already played with the idea, eventually to go back to sea. Yet it had been Bettina's question that made her definitively decide to visit Kaleyani's Copper Club together with Bettina to establish a crew again.)
During the later evening, Lara showed up and also asked Captain Lessnya to be allowed to return to her. It was a joy to see, how Captain Lessnya flourished more and more almost by the minute; it was obvious that she was happy. She even did not notice that Lara one times inadvertently called me "Marie", and I answered her completely for granted, before I noticed it; I whispered to Lara who was filled with consternation that she should watch better what she said.
After a very nice evening Captain Lessnya had her crew signed on, we all said goodbye and I went back to the Drunken Mermaid happily.
The next day Captain Rin returned home. She asked me as every time, how I had spent the time without her. Firstly I concealed my visit to Captain Lessnya, but my conscience troubled me too much; as her slave, it was not possible for me to lie to her or to withhold anything from her. But now after I had deceived her, so I wanted at least to be honest. I told her about my visit to Captain Lessnya. She asked me gently what I've had to do with Captain Lessnya. Only now I realized how sorely I had injured Captain Rin. I realized how much it must have hurt her that I had gone to her enemy. I was speechless with horror and only guiltily looked to the floor. Captain Rin asked me in a low voice for an explanation for my behavior, but I had none; I was paralyzed. Captain Rin was silent and I was silent. After several minutes of mutual keeping quiet, she went to my chest, took out all my stuff and laced them together into a bundle, which she pressed into my arms. Then she pushed me out the door, said "Farewell," closed the door behind me and locked it.
I still didn't utter a word. The tears ran down. I spent the night in a barn, and the next morning I took off my necklace of Bloodstone for the first time for months, and then still crying I went to Captain Lessnya; she was the only person to whom I could go now.
Captain Lessnya was surprised to see me, but she invited me in and was willing to talk with me. I told her through tears that Captain Rin had always been rare in the Drunken Mermaid the last time, that I did not stand it anymore, I had only cried when she was not there and so I had two days ago turned-crept at "someone" in disguise; as it seems, this person means a lot more to me than I had been aware myself, and that I had been dismissed for this breach of faith yesterday by Captain Rin. Captain Lessnya only nodded and said: "Now I know why Bettina was so sympathetic to me."
Then we had a long conversation in which I asked Captain Lessnya exactly especially about her betrayal of Captain Rin. Captain Lessnya gave me after some hesitation information and told me a story that was a few details different than the one that Captain Rin had told me. She also told me that Mate Ben had prevented that she could meet with Captain Rin to talk things out, and that especially Captain Kim very hates her and had threatened to kill her at their next meeting, which also was a part of the motive of the separation between Captain Rin and her.
Ultimately, I found that the version of Captain Lessnya was more credible than the version of Captain Rin. Captain Rin had laid something on with a trowel and shown her significance too much as important and powerful; she always was the good, whereas what Captain Lessnya told, was realistic and sounded honest, even Captain Lessnya herself did not came off well.
All this I told to Captain Lessnya. I said that I believe her, and that I was sorry to have accused her without listening to her. I had been blind in my feelings about Captain Rin. And I felt that my apology sealed our new bond.
Only much later I realized that also Captain Lessnya had loved Captain Rin.
The next day I received a letter from Captain Kim. It was full of insults; she wrote, that I should be ashamed that I had not managed to maintain a bit of loyalty to Captain Rin, I had abused Captain Rin, I had not only exceeded the border of Captain Rin's goodness and kindness, but had overrun it for miles; and now it was clear to Captain Kim that I was just as dishonest and hypocritical as Captain Lessnya was. We both would fit well in our falseness. However she will not kill me if it happens that we meet, but she wants me to live with my guilt, and that as long as possible.
In particular, the accusation that I had abused Captain Rin, hit me heavily. I showed this letter to Captain Lessnya, but she said that the only purpose of this letter just was to hurt me and her too; the best thing was to burn it and forget it.
The next days we refloated the Pearl, and I tried to gain back the trust of Captain Lessnya, that I had once had with her. Though it seemed as a miracle that Captain Lessnya took me back despite all the insults and injuries that I had thrown after her head. In her place I would have chased me to hell.
I cried for days because of my dismissal of Captain Rin. Also this ignored Captain Lessnya understandingly. I was sad and happy at the same time. Happy because I had found again my home at Captain Lessnya. I got a new necklace that I'm still wearing today, although I am not Captain Lessnya's slave but her First Mate now. I'm wearing it to show that my heart belongs to her.
Lara later told me, when I asked her why she had persuaded me to visit with Captain Lessnya, that she had seen that Captain Rin was "not doing good" to me as she called it. She had noticed that I had just only cried at the end, when Captain Rin was not there, and that had been almost constantly. And then Lara said something that touched me deeply: "... and I knew that Captain Lessnya was the only one who could withdraw you from Captain Rin."
Nevertheless, in my opinion, after a very short time Captain Lessnya was ready to give me her full confidence again. But I have not disappointed her again since then. I will not repeat my mistake to follow a mirage.
Even when Captain Lessnya met Lady Surya, which now also plays a special role in my life, Lady Surya and I were aware from the beginning that I'll keep my loyalty to Captain Lessnya, despite all the misgivings Captain Lessnya had. had noticed how Lady Surya and I were getting along very well, and Captain Lessnya even would release me to let me follow Lady Surya, just only to make me happy. But my attachment to Lady Surya is on another level; my heart belongs, as I said, to Captain Lessnya.
But that's another story. My loyalty is now and in the future completely with Captain Lessnya, and I'll follow her until we will be separated by force.
From Captain Rin back to Captain Lessnya
(von Käpt'n Rin zurück zu Käpt'n Lessnya)
(Translated into English 2016-09-15)
Es war einmal oder wird sein - I
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